12 Habits Holding You Back at Work AND In Your Job Search
I often recommend the book How Women Rise: Break the 12 Habits Holding You Back from Your Next Raise, Promotion, or Job to my clients.
It highlights the specific ways women can hold themselves back in the workplace. Many of my clients find it eye-opening to recognize how they’re falling into these traps at work. We then create a plan to break these habits.
However, these habits can also get in the way of a job search. Are you making any of these mistakes?
1. Reluctance to Claim Achievements
Many women underplay their accomplishments. They worry that promoting themselves might come off as bragging and make them uncomfortable.
How this impacts your job search:
I often hear women diminishing their track records. They focus more on what hasn’t gone well in their current role or where they’re frustrated in their search. The result is that they’re often unsure of themselves and their confidence suffers. I frequently have to highlight their accomplishments and help them see themselves through my eyes before they acknowledge all their expertise.
Try to view yourself objectively. While your brain will likely default to what could have been better, make sure you spend time reminding yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.
2. Expecting Others to Notice and Reward Their Contributions
Instead of actively seeking recognition or asking for what they deserve, some women expect that their hard work will get noticed, which can lead to being overlooked.
How this impacts your job search:
You’re likely not speaking about yourself as powerfully as you could. This can show up in everything from generic resume language to how you share your expertise in interviews.
Use powerful, compelling language. Know what sets you apart and the key elements of your personal brand. Talk about the value you bring to an organization, not just what you can do – and deliver that in a way that feels confident yet authentic.
3. Overvaluing Expertise
Women often feel they have to know it all and be the expert to be successful and rise. They spend their time over-investing in skills or knowledge while neglecting networking and opportunities for visibility.
How this impacts your job search:
I hear it often: a client will think she needs an additional certification. Or that she’s not qualified for a role because the job calls for 15 years of experience and she only has 10.
Do some market research to separate fact from fiction: maybe you do need a certain skill, but maybe it’s just your imposter syndrome kicking in.
Also, remember that a job description is someone’s wish list. Maybe the dream candidate exists, but oftentimes they’ll compromise based on the candidate pool.
4. Building Rather Than Leveraging Relationships
While women are skilled at building strong relationships, they don’t always leverage them for career growth.
How this impacts your job search:
I hear all the excuses: I hate asking for help, it makes me look desperate, it feels inauthentic, yada yada yada.
It’s not enough to have relationships – you’ve got to use them. People want to help, but you have to get over your mental hangups and let them. Chances are you’ve helped others without expecting anything in return, right? So why not let others support you?
5. Failing to Enlist Allies from Day One
Women may hesitate to seek support early on in their roles or projects, thinking they need to prove themselves first before asking for help.
How this impacts your job search:
Of course, you can find a job on your own. But enlisting friends and colleagues gives you a larger support system for managing the emotional ups and downs and more people looking out for you.
When you hire an expert like me, you get unbiased feedback to minimize your blind spots, better position yourself, and avoid common job search mistakes. You’re paying for a competitive edge that helps you land your ideal role faster and at top dollar.
6. Putting Their Job Before Their Career
Many women focus too much on doing their current job well, often at the expense of thinking strategically about long-term career goals.
How this impacts your job search:
If you’ve waited too long and now you’re job searching to escape your current company or get ahead of a potential layoff, it can negatively impact the quality of your search. Worse, it may make you feel desperate, which people can sniff out a mile away.
Start exploring your options before you’re ready to leave. Some of my clients work with me while they’re still happy in their roles. They want to be more intentional and clear in their career direction and use their current role as a springboard for their future role.
7. The Perfection Trap
Perfectionism can cause women to focus excessively on details and try to get everything exactly right, which can slow down progress and lead to burnout.
How this impacts your job search:
I’ve seen clients get hung up on the “right way” to do something – even something as simple as how to reach out to a recruiter or structure an informational interview.
Best practices are important, but don’t let them paralyze you. Progress comes from action, even if you’re unsure of yourself or make a mistake.
8. The Disease to Please
A strong desire to be liked and not to upset others can result in women taking on too much work, saying yes too often, and prioritizing others' needs over their own professional goals.
How this impacts your job search:
Don’t let your desire to be liked stop you from negotiating. Much of the fear around negotiating stems from worrying about what others might think, and what could happen as a result.
But by not negotiating, you’re not only hurting yourself financially, but you may also be hurting your reputation as someone who can advocate and handle uncomfortable conversations.
9. Minimizing
Women may downplay their presence or contributions by using minimizing language (e.g., “just,” “I’m not sure, but...”), or they may avoid speaking up or asserting themselves in meetings.
How this impacts your job search:
This can lead to a poor interview performance. In interview prep sessions with clients, I often hear more “we” than “I” when describing their experience.
I also see clients struggle with being bold and clear about their strengths and differentiators. Because it’s easier for me to see, we often work together to create language that’s both authentic and confident.
Interview practice can help. Record and self-critique yourself, or recruit a friend who will give you honest feedback.
10. Too Much
Women often tend to over-prepare, over-explain, or over-deliver, feeling that they need to go above and beyond at all times to be seen as competent.
How this impacts your job search:
This is another big trap in interviews. Clients often share far too many details in their answers, leaving me confused and their message muddled.
To avoid this, understand the root of the question, and hit on the few key points with a few details that are relevant. Aim for a 2-3 minute story that conveys the right level of detail.
11. Ruminating
Many women tend to dwell on mistakes or negative experiences for too long, which can hinder their ability to move forward and focus on future opportunities.
How this impacts your job search:
Are you still beating yourself up over a role that didn’t work out? Still complaining about that toxic boss? Or dwelling on the fact that you were let go? You may be ruminating.
It’s time to process those feelings, reframe your narrative to make those experiences beneficial for you, and focus on what you learned that makes you a smarter, more strategic career woman.
12. Letting Loyalty Hold You Back
Women may stay in roles or with companies out of loyalty, even when it no longer serves their best interests.
How this impacts your job search:
If you’re staying out of guilt, consider that you’re doing a greater disservice to your company by staying. They deserve to have someone 100% excited and engaged. If that’s not you, it’s in your best interest – and theirs – to move on.
Do yourself a favor: grab a copy of this book and identify the habits that you’re most likely to fall into.
Then reach out and schedule a consult. Whether you’re thrilled in your role or not, we can make a plan to help you succeed in your career.